Isn't it funny how so much can change in such a short space of time!?
I've had 'one-of-those-days', as my Nan would call it! I woke up ridiculously early, 6.45am to be precise, to the noise of that STUPID blackberry alarm that just dinnngggsss in my ear constantly until I can drag myself off the pillow and lollop across to my desk to switch it off! (I do this purposely you see, so that I'll actually get out of bed in the mornings)
Then, I realised that somehow during the course of my 6 hour (I couldn't drift off for nerves) sleep I'd managed to strip to just my underwear... strange much? Oh, and that I had a banging headache and had slept funny on my right arm. That left me nice and prepared for my exam at 9.00am didn't it!? Haha!
So, I trapse downstairs to find my Mum making salad sarnies for everyone, wholemeal bread of course. She tells me to take a paracetemol to sort out my headache... And someway, somehow I managed to gag on the tiniest tablet I've ever seen and spat it back up again!! BEAUTIFUL!
So yeah, I get to college nice and early after sitting in traffic for half an hour (it's ten minutes down the motorway to my college), I'm stood outside the exam room reading through some notes just to be sure, and who walks past me? A girl that I was friends with for 5 years at school. She just walked by, without saying one word or acknowledging my precense... I look up and notice another girl from school that I was friendly with, catch her eye and smile... NOTHING!
This is when it hit me... alot can change in a small space of time. It's been 2 years since I left school, and in that time I've done my A Levels, and lost touch with 2 people that were important to me.
In the 2 hours that were to follow I would change the rest of my future, that exam was THE single most important exam for me this year! If I achieve an A grade, I go to the university of my dreams... to do the course I've always wanted to do... Multimedia Journalism.
And if I fail?
Then dreams are shattered.
I don't know if you've ever experienced anything like that feeling, but the nerves that boil up inside you when you know the next 2 hours are about to determine your future are uncontrollable and unbelievable! It feels like your stomach is churning (like your hanging from the night before basically, but with a few snakes and butterflies thrown in for good measure) like you need the toilet so badly, you feel sick, sweaty, lightheaded, your throat gets this huge lump in it! It's so gross.
I've never had that feeling until today.
It's a good thing my exam went well really!! haha!!
I'm pretty sure that when your nervous, adreneline kicks in. You can write an A4 side in minutes, plan things to perfection, analyse every detail. It's like everything you've been taught comes rushing back to you in a matter of minutes, filling your head with what you wish you'd remembered in the mock exam, which, if your anything like me, you dramatically failed... try 45 out of 80 for size! And that's what made you nervous in the first place!
So yeah, my mood changed almost as quickly as the exam flew by.. then I heard this song on the radio and it's like this morning never happened
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wavpWRK6IX8 (click on the link to hear it! ... its very loud FYI so turn down those boom boxes)
Wonder where I'll be in another 2 hours time?
Back soon for more tickings of my oh so teenage mind <3
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