Blogspiration

Have officially made massive boob-up... and miraculously gotten away with it! WOOO!

Actually though... I'm now kind of wishing I didn't get away with it.

Here's todays sob story... do feel free to laugh, at this ungodly hour (tis 2311 hours sir) I am STILL awake and have been given some blogspiration... a quickie way of ranting out the shit-of-the-day.
Right, when I was 15 n a bit I worked for a hair salon close to where I lived as a way of earning some dolla' and I seriously loved it! I spent my wages the day I got them, on mostly hair products, highlights, getting my nails done, etc etc etc... sooo.... cleverly I thought, I'm now in Bournemouth, jobless, with some experience in salon's, living next to a high street with about 100 of them... maybe, just maybe I should try my luck with one and see if anything comes of it. I picked the one I was most drawn to, went in and tried my luck, left my details and then waited.
For about 3 days.

Got a phone call, got a job basically as a junior doing all the shitty jobs no-one else wants to do... which is fine with me, I don't want to do hair dressing, it merely interests me and I like watching how they do everything (gay voyeur basically just minus the gay part).
I was told to come along (today) for a trial. That was for the entire day... 9 till half 5.
I, cleverly and wisely as usual, thought this indicated I had the job, was being paid for the job, was classified as new staff and therefore prepared myself for the usual poky questions you don't wanna answer from other employees, hunted down the nearly dead and buried smart work attire and actually washed my hair the night before in prep.

However, I was working at the nightclub (I'm a promo girl by night... haha, I even have flyers!!) the night before, last night, and didn't finish till 1am... and was then lured inside with the temptation of free entry, free drinks and free VIP treatment. My friend and I cleverly decided on a voddy and coke each, a shot each and a good old wholesome boogie, followed by a nice yummy (and well deserved) bag of chips, complete with the moaning and groaning of blistered feet and tiredness from a sober-ish night on the town. I flopped into bed at 3am... reached for Cosmo and got lost in the glossy pages for the following hour, and eventually slipped into a happy state of sleep.

One vital factor was ignored throughout this very glamorous process (ehem)... my 7 AM START the following day.

I did set my alarm so the effort was in part there... but I did sleep through it. On day 1 of new job.

HOLY SHIT!!!

So I did wake up, when my housemate flushed the loo at 9.25am after stinking the loo out after an enormous poop. Lush wake up call...

That moment when I reached across to my phone to check the time, then jumped from my bed clutching the little piece of shoddy failure machinery in my hands with a look of dramatic disbelief on my face, would have been priceless to watch as a fly on the wall. I panicked.

What does one do when one cocks up so spectacularly?

Run around in leapord print pj bottoms, with hair stuck to my face with sleep, pillow creased forehead and sticky dribble stained cheeks (I'm the picture of beauty in the mornings, I think if you put me in an issue of Vogue looking like that the readers would think they'd confused their monthly purchase with that of MarwellZoo Weekly)... clutching my blackberry and screaming at pooper-housemate about the crapness of my alarm "IT CANT BE LOUD ENOUGH IF I SLEPT THROUGH IT" and "WHAT AM I MEANT TO DO NOW, CRAP FIRST IMPRESSION WOWWWWW!!!"

That's right folks, I overslept by 2 and a half hours. Impressive work ay? I'm weirdly proud... is that wrong?

I still went though, I swallowed any dignity I had left and trapsed there in order to make a desperate attempt at bum-licking them to like me. Which worked. They want me to work there.

Sucks really that after all that effort and panic the job is crap money, poop hours and I didn't actually get paid for 8 hours work today. Even though I must have served about a million cups of coffee to wet haired strangers and squash to their annoying over hyper children in school uniform, and even washed their hair!! Bare hands, old lady wrinkle folded head = gaggy me.

Oh the irony...

So this is my blogspiration, rant about my shizer day and hope it makes for a funny post...

It's now 2334 hours and I'm starting to see the funny side.